winning her heart
by extraordinaire
Summary: SASUSAKU ONESHOT. 'List of How To Treat Your Lady Love So She Doesn’t Leave Your Home-Wrecking Ass For Someone Better'. Sasuke should have known better than to take advice from her; it was Ino after all.


"Hello Sasuke."

A sigh.

"Ino."

A rolling of the eyes.

"It can't be this formal if you want to win her heart."

A grunt.

"Who said anything about winning her heart?"

Another rolling of the eyes.

"What was I supposed to make out of _'screwing like bunnies'_?"

A scowl.

"I said I wanted her as my future matriarch of the Uchiha clan."

A disapproving look.

"Well I'm sorry my friend, I can't help you."

A glance of disbelief.

"Why?"

A _'you're-an-idiot'_ look.

"She's my best friend and you only want to use her to create little babies. She deserves a man who will treat her right and really wants her, not just some–"

"Fine damnit! I want to win her heart!"

A smile.

"Much better Sasuke-kun. Are you glad you got that off your chest?"

A muffle.

"What darling?"

A (_tiny bit louder_) mumble.

"I still can't hear you pumpkin."

"YES!"

A wide grin.

"Now we're getting somewhere."

"Hn,"

An exasperated look.

"She – and everyone else – hates your weird grunt things that aren't even words. And you can't act like that in front of her."

"How am I supposed to act?"

A look of true brilliance with a lit light bulb for added effect.

"I knew this would come in handy!"

A questioning look.

"What?"

Takes out a long list written in pink pen on perfumed paper.

"Ino's List of How To Treat Your Lady Love So She Doesn't Leave Your Home-wrecking Ass For Someone Better."

A _'why the hell am I talking to you?'_ look.

"Do you really have that little of a life that you sit down and write this?"

A rolling of the eyes.

"No. I only wrote this a few days ago just for this occasion!"

"But I only came to you yesterday."

"Um, right, but I totally _wasn't_ stalking you, and just used my…um…woman's intuition! Exactly!"

An emotionless expression.

"Tch, stupid fangirl."

"Hey, I'm not a fangirl! I'm just helping my friend out and makes sure she gets a fair deal in this."

A malicious smirk.

"Oh, she will…"

* * *

_**winning her heart**_

* * *

_**01. Pay for her food  
**__every girl loves to know that they're being taken care of and chivalry is well and alive, so use that money for something much better than weapons or tomatoes – use it on your lady!_

* * *

"That ramen was much better than this morning's! I think there must be different chefs, because the one in the afternoon has a more, like, zesty broth. But the one in the morning is a tad bland."

Sakura rolled her eyes at her teammate's actions before complying to the conversation with, "I think they both taste the same, but then again, I don't eat it more than once a day."

Sasuke grunted across the table, as if agreeing with Sakura.

Naruto pouted. "Sasuke-teme, since when do you agree with Sakura-chan? Since when do you agree with _anyone_ for that matter?"

Sasuke scowled and shrugged, brooding in his ramen broth, staring the little, and helpless noodles down.

"Naruto – _for once_ – is right, Sasuke-kun. You seem a little different. Are you okay?"

He again shrugged, but looked up for her. "I'm fine." He didn't mean for it to come out harsh, but it did anyways. His cold façade is something that'll take a little long to break. He can't really just go cold turkey or anything.

The (_flirtatious_) waitress sauntered over with the check and put it down on the table. Sasuke instantly grabbed it and took out his wallet as well. Naruto stopped eating his ramen and openly stared while Sakura tried to hide her disbelief, wanting to be polite.

The young Uchiha sent a glare at both of them, but nonetheless continued paying.

"Um, Sasuke-kun, I don't mean to be rude or whatever, but I can pay for my meal."

"Hn,"

Suddenly, Naruto began grinning. "Well thanks Sasuke-teme!"

He looked up. "Who said I was paying for you?"

Now it was Sakura to stare, and probably gape as well. Naruto just got an annoyed look, trying to glare out the Uchiha.

Then his grin turned wicked. "Hey, Sakura-chan, I know why Sasuke-teme's paying for you."

Sakura turned to him while Sasuke blushed, but tried to hide it since, well, he just doesn't flush.

"Because he knows you're a girl and must think that you're too weak to pay for your meal or even support yourself."

And this is when Sakura goes full out, super-strength, freak on her beloved secret admirer and glares at him full-on, trying to control her anger but failing miserably. "What? I can perfectly support myself you jackass!" She ripped money out of her pocket, slammed it on the table, and stalked off.

* * *

_**02. Train with her**_  
_every girl likes to be held in high regard in your standards, so asking to see her skill (on the field, you pervert) and what she can do is very much liked by her – especially when you do it on a regular basis._

* * *

"Alright guys, I'm leaving." Naruto said while waving off his three teammates. They waved back before Sai spoke. "I'm going too. See ya Ugly, Sasuke."

"Ugh, I'm not freaking ugly! I hate that guy!" Sasuke couldn't agree more with Sakura on those two points; _especially_ the first.

Sasuke sighed before running his hands through his hair. This was going to be an extremely low blow to his ego. Sure, he knew that she had grown, and had become stronger, but to admit that he thought it was worth training with was extremely hard for such an egoistical man.

"Sakura,"

She turned at the sound of her name, giving him her full attention.

"Let's train."

An unbelieving look came across her face before she retorted with, "Me?" Sasuke shook his head, proud that he could flabbergast her this well. "But aren't I a little too weak for you Sasuke-kun?"

She still really hadn't forgiven him for yesterday's ramen-act.

"And aren't I too annoying?"

And, he presumed, his acts from their childhood still left a scar on her (_perfectly full and giving_) heart.

"Plus, as you and I know, you wouldn't give me the time of day, nor advantage to train with you, if the others were here. You just want to train and I'm the only available dummy." It seemed her words had a double meaning, just from the way she spat out the apparently vile terms.

"…let's just train."

"I'm sorry, Mister Sasuke Uchiha, but I refuse."

She simply walked away, leaving a now stunned Sasuke who was secretly planning a certain blonde's death.

* * *

_**03. Let her win  
**__every girl, whether she can or not, likes to win (as most people do) especially if it is to the man she admires most; this gives her a boost of confidence and a wonderful attitude that you will enjoy for the rest of the day – after the taunting, of course._

* * *

Sakura threw a kick his way, but he couldn't (_didn't_) dodge it, leading him on the floor. She sat on his lap, straddling him and pinning his wrists.

Really, Sasuke should have known much better than to train with her. After she finally agreed, he was filled with joy (_not really_ – but you know what I mean). But now, he was just wishing that his ego would be okay after this terrible blow to his manliness.

A guy like Sasuke Uchiha does not lose to a girl like Sakura Haruno – especially when it's on purpose.

"I win." She said with an evil smirk that looked way too familiar to Sasuke. He just shrugged (as best he could for being pinned down anyways) and nodded his head. Sakura's grasp noticeably lessened as she shot him a confused stare.

Once he was up and off the ground, he simply shrugged again. "You win."

And that's when this alleged _women's intuition_ kicked in. "No I didn't. You let me win, didn't you?"

Sasuke gulped, but shook his head, rising to his feet.

"Yes you did! You just wanted to…wait, no, wait…why would you want me to win again?"

He sighed. "Exactly."

And with that, he walked away.

* * *

_**04. Get jealous around her when she's talking to a guy  
**__every girl loves her boyfriend/love interest's jealous side for it shows that they truly care about her and that they fear losing her, leading her to spend a life in someone else's arms – and someone else's heart._

* * *

"Hey Kiba!" Sakura waved from across the street. Sasuke, behind her, grunted as the brunette came up to the pinkette, smiling and waving as well.

Akamaru barked enthusiastically while he laughed out a proper greeting.

"So how are you?"

He smiled. "Fine. And yourself?"

"Great."

He scratched the back of his head while grinning sheepishly. "So, I was wondering if you, _I don't know_, wanted to get dinner tonight or something."

Sakura smiled gently, shaking her head. "I'd love too, I really would, but first I have a shift at the hospital and–"

"And she's having dinner with me tonight."

Both stared incredulously at the Uchiha who spoke.

"Oh, well, um, maybe another time then." Kiba suggested before giving a quick jerk of the hand and heading off, dog in his arm.

Sakura turned to her teammate once the dog-loving boy was gone. "What was that?"

"What?"

"Firstly, we're _not_ having dinner tonight. And secondly, I really _did_ want to go to dinner with him."

Sasuke smirked. "But now you can't – you're going with me."

"But Sasuke-kun, you just can't do that!"

He scowled, but placed an iron-like grip around her wrist anyways.

"Where are you taking me, you incorrigible jackass?"

But he didn't answer, and continued to drag her to the hospital. He tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach that would probably appear every time a male came near his beloved cherry blossom.

_Jealousy. _

* * *

_**05. Hold her hand  
**__every girl likes to think that you want her at your side 24/7; holding hands is a great way to reassure it while also letting everyone know that she is your girlfriend and you aren't planning on giving her up – and this works on both ends with you and your fangirls._

* * *

"You-you actually came?" She asked while stumbling out of the hospital.

Sasuke nodded his head while gesturing her towards him. "I said you were going out to eat with me. I don't back out on my promises."

She smiled eagerly, nodding her head and stepping into pace with him as they both made there way to eat.

Sasuke blushed a little, clenched and unclenched his fists, then swiftly touched his cold one to her warm, smooth hand.

He interlocked their fingers, ignoring Sakura's questioning stare and other pedestrians, whispering about their little _scandal_.

"Um…Sasuke-kun…people are staring."

Sasuke nodded. "That's the point."

And for some reason – really, women are just _too_ confusing to understand – she took that to serious offense and ripped her hand off of his.

"What, you think you can just go and hold my hand? Well guess what, _you can't_!"

And that wonderful temper tantrum Sakura just held was seen by all. Many stopped to observe the seen and others just shook their heads, muttering something about the youth of today. He was pretty sure he heard Konohamaru yell something about being burned, but he ignored it all, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

It was _obviously_ that time of the month.

* * *

_**06. Walk her home  
**__every girl fantasizes about a boy walking them home after a date or even a training session; key parts to this activity are to keep the conversation alive (no one likes a dead date) and when she's at the door, fumbling with her keys, that's your cue to kiss – and if she's not, well, then, don't._

* * *

"Thank you Sasuke-kun. It was actually really sweet of you to take me out to dinner." She smiled in a charming way and Sasuke complied by mustering a smirk of his own.

He nodded. "No problem."

"And thanks for walking me home. I know I should probably yell at you for considering me too weak to walk home or something, but this was really nice, so I'll be easy on you."

He smirked.

And the jostling began.

As soon as the keys were out of the bag, she really couldn't seem to find the key. And it wasn't even that dark yet. The sun was setting, but there was definitely a sufficient amount to find a key with.

And sure, that rule on Ino's list may be part of this, but with how everything else went, he decided that something so absurd obviously couldn't be correct.

After five long minutes, she finally found the key and opened the door, muttering a goodbye and slamming it in Sasuke's face.

And for once – as in, _'seriously, this never happens'_ – Sasuke wished he took Ino's advice.

* * *

_**07. Compliment her  
**__every girl likes to be told that they look pretty, something in their attire catches your eye, or that they're doing something right (like training or at the hospital) – and girls usually have wonderful rewards for these comments, so use them frequently and with your heart._

* * *

"Wow Sakura-chan, what's the occasion?" Naruto asked as Sakura stepped out of her house.

She shrugged her (material-less) shoulders and smiled. "I don't know; just felt like dressing up today." Sasuke smirked, for this was the perfect moment.

But then he stopped.

What would he say? It's not like Sasuke Uchiha goes around giving compliments freely and openly, tossing them here and there at the townspeople. This was special; and for a special occasion – and definitely for a special _person_.

"You look…good."

And that was all his mouth could form.

And then he mentally cursed himself for not having better knowledge on the subject of women.

Her fallen face and hopeless eyes were enough to break any heart – especially the one who caused it.

* * *

_**08. Invite her over your house  
**__every girl loves going over to her crushes house; it is a special pad for you men and it means a lot when you let a girl there, especially a girl you're romantically interested in – so clean up the place, get some dinner ready, and set up a cute little date where there will be no interruptions, no bad service, and a night full of memories._

* * *

"Wow, this place is a lot bigger once you get into it." Sakura complimented while exploring the house. Sasuke nodded, following her as well.

She got to the living room and sat down, smoothing out the green sundress she was wearing that morning, and looked up expectantly at her host.

"Do you want to make dinner?"

A smile cracked onto her face. "Me, get to be in the kitchen with the almighty Chef Uchiha? And too cook with him as well? Obviously this is a chance of a lifetime, so I better not miss it."

He actually smirked. "Good choice."

He threw an apron, making sure that nothing would get on her. She put it on with ease and followed him into the kitchen, making sure that she didn't lose him for it was a large house and she was sure she'd easily get lost.

Once in the vast room, she noticed that everything was set up. "Did you plan this?"

He smirked. "Maybe," It was a rather spur-of-the-moment thing when Sasuke asked her to come to his house for dinner. Sakura gratefully accepted the invitation, but it left Naruto out.

He didn't mind that much though. Most would think that he wouldn't understand, since he still hasn't realized the axiomatic love Hinata holds in her heart for him, but he has. He knows his best friend – and what his best friend likes.

They began wistfully working around the kitchen, mixing things here and tasting things there.

"I never really got why you liked these so much." Sakura complied while holding a plump and juicy (but not as much as her lips) tomato in her hand, analyzing it with a pensive look plastered on her face.

"They're really good."

Her face scrunched up. "Not really. But I haven't had one in years."

Sasuke approached her with said fruit in between his fingers, cut into a perfect slice.

She bit into it softly, it still in his palm. She flushed at the thought of him feeding her.

Once she took a little, she instantly stopped. "It's a bit sweet."

"Yeah,"

She then smiled, but in a malicious type of way. "I bet I know something sweeter." She breathed, moving closer to the stunned Uchiha.

He did as well, lightly closing his eyes and drinking in the moment of success, pride, and the possibility of the impossible (it isn't everyday that Ino is right about anything).

And as their lips were about to touch, Sasuke's nose clanked into Sakura's. She groaned in pain and instantly pulled away, putting pressure on it with her hand. Sasuke, not being injured, went to go and get her a towel.

When he returned with it, he pressed it against her nose, but she quickly swiped it from him and did it herself.

Sasuke felt like as miserable as be probably looked while taking her to the couch.

"Sakura, I didn't mean to,"

Sakura grunted. "Sasuke, everything this week has been accidental."

He sighed. _'Stupid, stupid Ino…'_

"Are you okay? 'Cause now that I think about it, you've been acting really weird lately. I think I know what it is, but I'm afraid to say so–"

"What do you think it is?" Sasuke really hoped she knew actually, so he wouldn't have to explain it and look even more like a jerk.

She looked up at him, a timid expression on her face. "Well, I know that you haven't really been paying that much attention to the female population lately," _right, right, on the right track _"and Naruto and you have always been close," _wait, what about the dobe? _"and of course you're probably very insecure about expressing your feelings so–"

"Expressing my feelings for _what_ exactly?"

She ran her hand through the pink locks atop her head. "You know, that you're, well – _gay_."

Sasuke stared in disbelief. _Me? Gay? Where did she even get that idea?_

"You know, I'm not mad or anything. You and Naruto work and–"

"But how? How could anything I did this week lead you to believe that I liked _Naruto_?"

"Well, first off, you paid for me and not Naruto, leading me to belief that you were trying to make him jealous. Then with the training thing, to show him that you could be a compassionate and giving man, so he doesn't think that you're too mean. Same with the letting me win. And then the handholding and compliment were also for jealousy. This dinner I'm not quite sure off, but, _yeah_."

Sasuke was still trying to decide how that all connected while wishing death upon Ino. He wasn't a freaking homo and he didn't need the one girl that he was interested in to think so.

"Am I right?" Sasuke shook his head. She wasn't right. She was very, _very_ wrong. "Come on – you can trust me. I won't tell anyone – especially not Sai. I know he's been keeping his eyes on Naruto, and well, I don't want you to be jealous, so–"

"The only person I was jealous of this week was Kiba."

She gave a crooked smile. "What?"

He ran his callused fingers through his long hair. "Look, I, um, talked to Ino and–"

"And now you're into _Ino_?"

"No, no. I um, I went to her to help me, um, as she puts it, of course, _'win your heart'_, so she had a list of–"

"_Ino's List of How To Treat Your Lady Love So She Doesn't Leave Your Home-wrecking Ass For Someone Better_?"

"Um…_yeah_,"

"Oh Kami-sama,"

Sasuke smirked at her while she was suffering. He should really be the one at fault, but from her expression, he was apparently safe.

"So this whole week you were trying Ino's terrible moves on me where she insists that _every_ girl likes something when only _she_ would?"

He nodded.

"And I thought you liked _Naruto_? Kami-sama, I'm such an idiot!"

Again, he nodded.

And after her self-beating and hurtful words, she abruptly sat up. "But, wait, that would mean that you – you like me…?"

"…yeah."

And now all frowns and curses were gone and were replaced with smiles and blushes.

"Aw Sasuke-kun! You could have just told me!" She leaped onto his lap, snuggling her head into his chest.

After a few minutes of silence and just listening to each other's heartbeats, Sasuke questioned, "But if you thought I was into Naruto, what was with that almost-kiss in the kitchen just then?"

She looked up, smiling sheepishly. "I was, uh, hoping to turn you straight."

He smirked, moving his face closer to hers. "Well I'm sorry I messed that up."

She complied with the distance. "It's quite alright. We can give it another try if you'd like."

And as they began kissing, Sasuke was content. Even without Ino's endless list of failures, he still got the girl in the end. And not _every_ girl, not _any_ girl, but _the_ girl.

Because Sakura wasn't like every girl, and for that, he was glad.


End file.
